NOTE: This is a super old post (December 2005), but my sweet friend, Kazia, wanted to read it. So I obliged a re-post. Laugh away. :)


As Christmas rapidly approaches, I'm quite excited that I've done so well this year.. almost all my cards are mailed.. all my shopping is done... plans are made for the weekend with family. I'm super excited about seeing old friends that have been away and to go volunteer at the Children's hospital on Tuesday afternoon. (I'll have to tell yall about it later this week after we've gone). Sunday I'm going to Wayside again in the morning.. yippie!!

Since it's the week before Christmas and I'm practically going to be living in the Heck that is Retail (I really don't like you people that wait til the VERY last minute and then get all exasperated and mean because everyone else did the same thing and everywhere is crazy busy....grrr) And I digress... With that in mind.. and Kohl's monopolizing most of my week, I thought I'd write a Kohl's antics Year-in-Review...

The Top 10 Most Insane Moments at Kohl's (involving me):

10. Day after Christmas returns and using EVERY shopping cart (30+) in the store to do returns recovery.

9. Saturday two toilets in the women's restroom simulataneously decided to overflow... pouring out of the restroom into Customer Service (ewwwww... CS is my dept, by the way) 3 male employees.. 2 mops... 20 minutes of cleaning.. priceless. teehee!

8. Walking into a fitting room and finding a poopy diaper stuck to the wall.

7. Kohl's being open this last winter (Jan or Feb) during an ice storm.. the only people in the store were 5 employees.. and we were able to ice skate in our tennis shoes in the parking lot.

6. Following a guy around the store because he'd stolen and then returned his stolen coat in customer service. I was very very sneaky and it was fun.

5.. Climbing up a ladder to get a suitcase for a Sr. Citizen man. He decides he wants a different color.. I go to move the ladder and he decides to help move it for me... while I was STILL ON THE LADDER.... yeah, little old dude got lucky he didn't get crushed when the ladder fell and I went flying off into the housewares department.. sprained my ankle pretty good on that one.

4. This creepy guy called one day. He asked me, "If I came in and bought you a pair of shoes, would you wear them?" I was like, gee.. if this crazy guy wants to give me a new pair of shoes.. "Sure!".. Then he says, "Ok.. so, you'd wear them around for awhile and then let me come in and smell them?" Do, huh?! How about, no. EWWWW!!!

3. As I'm on hold with another store, an elderly lady VERY Loudly asked me where I bought my.. um... undergarments.. and everyone in line turned to look at me...

2. A lady tried to return a shirt..without a receipt.. with a JCPenney tag... when I told her she couldn't, she became very angry and tried to come over the counter after me. At this point, the older woman with her pulls her back and apologizes, saying, "I'm sorry, she really hasn't had her medication today. I knew she shouldn't have gone out."

And number one... drum roll please..

1. While working at the Men's register, a middle age man comes running out of the dressing room in nothing but his tighty-whities and socks needing help because he'd grabbed the wrong size pants and needed a bigger size.

Yea for working in retail!

BONUS: I was working one day and was having a serious wardrobe malfunction.. my shirt only covered an inch or two below my belt and my pants were a bit big. So all day long I was CONSTANTLY pulling my pants up and my shirt down to keep from showing any of my stomach. I was getting so incredibly frustrated because we were so busy and everytime I would reach down to get a bag for a customer I would have to repeat this process of shirt down, pants up. One lady had a HUGE order and I had to bend down 4 or 5 times to get bags and fix the malfunction.. finally I decided to apologize.. and said, "I'm so sorry, but I can't seem to keep my pants down and my shirt up." Totally had no clue what I had said until she burst out laughing... Yea.. I'm so cool.