I love you.
Three simple words and yet they may be the most complex three words in the entire English language. What do they mean? What does it mean to say "I love you" to someone.. to something? I love something.. what does that mean?
I think everyone has this ideal definition and then this selfish definition of love. The ideal definition is that someone's going to love us unconditionally, unequivocally, without reason or merit or anything on our part.. We want this person to adore us, cherish us, care for us, and just..desire us. And yet, when WE say "I love you", what do we mean? Do we say it as a half-truth because- I think I love you because there's some emotional aspect in my heart that's pulling me toward you, so it MUST be love. But then a month later, two months later, twenty years later, how can we look at someone and say "I don't love you anymore"? Or, "I love you for what you can do for me"? "I love you because it's easy and convenient"? What is love?
Is love a feeling? Is love an action? Is love an emotion? Is love a being? A state? What is LOVE?
Far too often I think we get caught up in our own definitions and we end up loving ourselves more than we ever love anyone else and that confuses our ideas. We want people to love us in this amazing, incredible, fairy tale, happily ever after kind of way, but what are we willing to sacrifice of ourselves? Anything?
Or is it.. when the going gets tough, and things get hard and don't really make sense anymore, and your heart's just not quite in it... do you give up because you're not "in love"? What is love?
It is a resounding commitment that no matter what, no matter how angry, how hurt, how distant, how abandoned, how empty you feel.. it's not about you. I think that's where we get confused. We say "I love you", but we focus far too often on the "I" and not the "you". But that's what love is.. it's a focus on "you". "You" being the other person involved in the relationship. That I'll love you regardless of if you'll love me back, that I'll love you regardless of how many times you'll walk out on me, or leave me, or hurt me, or break me. I love you.
We see such a clear depiction of "I love you" from our Father. And yet we so often don't look at it that way. God shouted "I love you" from the Heavens when He created the earth. There wasn't even a mountaintop for God to shout on, so He created one. There wasn't a picture for the vastness of His love, so he created the oceans to measure the depth and width of it to show us He loves us!
Over and over throughout history we walked away, we threw in the towel, we loved ourselves, we loved other gods.. and yet God said, "I love you". And He'd bring us back time and time again. He brought His people back. I love you.
And then, ultimately, He sent His Son, because no amount of His shouting from Heaven, "I love you", no amount of His "look at creation.. look at what I made... I did this because I love you", none of it phased us, didn't affect us, didn't change us, didn't make us want to say "I love you back with all of my being". But we wrapped ourselves up in this pharisaical world of rules and laws and rituals... instead of embracing the freedom to dance and enjoy and embrace grace and mercy and passionate love. So He sends His Son... His Son steps down out of Heaven and says, "I love you enough that I'm going to leave the perfect for the imperfect. I'm going to leave beauty for ugliness. I'm going to walk headlong into a sin-filled world and never embrace it, but only love those who do." And finally He shouts from the top of His lungs on a cross "Forgive them..." forgive them....
God so loved...
From the cross His blood screamed "I LOVE YOU.. You... I love YOU this much.. more than enough... And you put me here.. you hated me and you put me here.. Your sinfulness, your wickedness, your selfishness led me to this place. But even in the midst of that I declare that I love you. That I will always love you." This is what love is...
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Lovely Loved Leah
My name is Rachel, for those who don't know.. Rachel Nicole, to be exact. Nicole obviously being where "Nikki" comes from. Therefore, I'm always drawn to the story in Genesis 29 where Jacob meets, falls crazy in love with (you'd have to be crazy to work 14 years just to marry someone), and marries Rachel.
Since my name's in there and I think it's a beautiful love story, I've always tended to focus my attention on Jacob and Rachel... Leah gets the back burner in my thoughts. However, verses 31-35 recently caused me to completely pause and focus on this woman and her relationship with God. Brief summary: God sees that Leah is unloved by Jacob, so He blesses her and she has 3 sons. With each son, she hopes or thinks something different.
#1. Reuben- Leah thinks this will cause Jacob to love her. She recognizes that God sees her afflictions.
#2. Simeon- Recognizes that God sees and hears of her situation of feeling unloved, and has responded by giving her another son.
#3. Levi- Leah thinks, "Surely to goodness Jacob will become attached to me because I've now born him 3 sons." (He's still crazy about Rachel)
Then, in verse 35, "And she conceived again and bore a son and said, "THIS TIME I WILL PRAISE THE LORD." Therefore she named him Judah . Then she stopped bearing."
3 Thoughts from this verse:
1. Finally Leah stops looking for her worth, her beauty, her love and affections to be found in a man and praises the Lord for the blessings He has given her. She turns her eyes from the world and fixes them on Heaven.. and she is blessed.
2. Once she finds her fulfillment in God, she stops having children. She has been blessed by their love and His love for her.
3. Her 4th son, the one in whom she praises the Lord for completely, this child becomes the ancestor of King David... and ultimately of Christ. Leah, the one with "weak eyes", unloved by her husband, and virtually further unmentioned in the Bible, is in the blood line of Christ. Not Rachel. Not the one who was cherished and prized by the world's standards. Rather it was the one who ultimately chose to praise God for the gifts that He gave her-who sought after Him- who was able to stand in the lineage of our Savior.
What does this say to me: Christ is more than enough. I have been blessed with more than enough. Once again I am struck anew with the understanding that this world holds nothing for me. Regardless of whether I never have money, never get married, never feel beautiful or loved by a man, I find that I have more worth, more beauty, more honor, am more adored, more blessed, and more cherished by my God than I will ever even be able to come close to comprehending. Christ is more than enough. And I am amazed and overwhelmed in who God chooses to bring about His plan of salvation. What a messed up, undesirable, rag-tag lot Christ comes from!! And yet each person, each player, each thread when woven together creates the most beautiful and amazing tapestry of grace, mercy, and love ever created. What a wonderful, and unworthy, feeling it is to know that God can use me- use us- in our weakest, most frail, and undesireable states to be incredible instruments for His Kingdom. May I always be able to say, "this time I will praise the Lord". Christ is more than enough.
Since my name's in there and I think it's a beautiful love story, I've always tended to focus my attention on Jacob and Rachel... Leah gets the back burner in my thoughts. However, verses 31-35 recently caused me to completely pause and focus on this woman and her relationship with God. Brief summary: God sees that Leah is unloved by Jacob, so He blesses her and she has 3 sons. With each son, she hopes or thinks something different.
#1. Reuben- Leah thinks this will cause Jacob to love her. She recognizes that God sees her afflictions.
#2. Simeon- Recognizes that God sees and hears of her situation of feeling unloved, and has responded by giving her another son.
#3. Levi- Leah thinks, "Surely to goodness Jacob will become attached to me because I've now born him 3 sons." (He's still crazy about Rachel)
Then, in verse 35, "And she conceived again and bore a son and said, "THIS TIME I WILL PRAISE THE LORD." Therefore she named him Judah . Then she stopped bearing."
3 Thoughts from this verse:
1. Finally Leah stops looking for her worth, her beauty, her love and affections to be found in a man and praises the Lord for the blessings He has given her. She turns her eyes from the world and fixes them on Heaven.. and she is blessed.
2. Once she finds her fulfillment in God, she stops having children. She has been blessed by their love and His love for her.
3. Her 4th son, the one in whom she praises the Lord for completely, this child becomes the ancestor of King David... and ultimately of Christ. Leah, the one with "weak eyes", unloved by her husband, and virtually further unmentioned in the Bible, is in the blood line of Christ. Not Rachel. Not the one who was cherished and prized by the world's standards. Rather it was the one who ultimately chose to praise God for the gifts that He gave her-who sought after Him- who was able to stand in the lineage of our Savior.
What does this say to me: Christ is more than enough. I have been blessed with more than enough. Once again I am struck anew with the understanding that this world holds nothing for me. Regardless of whether I never have money, never get married, never feel beautiful or loved by a man, I find that I have more worth, more beauty, more honor, am more adored, more blessed, and more cherished by my God than I will ever even be able to come close to comprehending. Christ is more than enough. And I am amazed and overwhelmed in who God chooses to bring about His plan of salvation. What a messed up, undesirable, rag-tag lot Christ comes from!! And yet each person, each player, each thread when woven together creates the most beautiful and amazing tapestry of grace, mercy, and love ever created. What a wonderful, and unworthy, feeling it is to know that God can use me- use us- in our weakest, most frail, and undesireable states to be incredible instruments for His Kingdom. May I always be able to say, "this time I will praise the Lord". Christ is more than enough.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Leaves Like Eve's
I'm so blessed and have such amazing friends. Allow me to share the awesomeness of God and the faithfulness of three of these people in their "Yes" to Him...
Michelle and Josh are very similar... quieter people, more reserved, laidback, easygoing.. give great preference to small group settings, familiarity, etc.
Susan is a bit more outgoing but very much enjoys being around her "home area"...
Michelle spent two years in Italy as a missionary...
Josh spends several weeks or months each year in Cambodia as a missionary...
Susan left in August to go to Mali (West Africa) for two years as a missionary...
These are three of my oldest and dearest friends in the world and I have so much respect and admiration for them. So often I hear people say, and I have said, "wherever You lead me, Lord, I will follow"... and yet I know of so many, myself included at times, who, when push comes to shove, don't follow the Lord's leading. Of course I'm not talking specifically about going to another country and doing missions. I'm just speaking in general terms... God prompting us to talk to a friend about Him... Choosing whether to be honest about something and get in trouble or lie and stay "safe"... ending a relationship or friendship that you know isn't right and dealing with the pain and loss or staying together out of fear, loneliness, dependency on another person... or going overseas or into full-time ministry. I admire these friends for living out the faith they profess... for saying "yes" to God and following through with their actions. So often we say things to God that are simply empty words.. or promises that we hope we never have to follow through on but sound pretty at the time... HONESTY... with ourselves.. with our friends.. with our Lord. That's what we need.. Poor Rich Folk (awesome band.. thanks Warren!) wrote a song, 'Leaves Like Eve's".. the bridge states,
"I'm not broken and I'm not breaking
My eyes are open and I stand naked
I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not consumed,
I'm not all these things that I say to you...
'Cause I lie to you."
That's honesty.. brutal.. harsh.. difficult to say.. but honest. And it's how I've felt before... so often I find myself midstanza of a song in church and stop and say "What in the world am I even singing?! Do I really mean that?!"
May we, May I, stop lying to God. May we fall on our faces and be honest with our Father and our Creator and cry out truth from our hearts. May we not simply sing/speak/pray nice, pretty sounding words because we know that's what God wants to hear and because that's how we THINK we should feel. May our prayers always be honest.. may we always be honest with ourselves and with one another about our struggles, our sinfulness, our anguish, our "dark nights"... may we stop sugar-coating our faith and get real with God and one another. May we be as willing to follow up our words with our actions as my three, highly cherished friends have done.
I'm tired of being so shallow....
Michelle and Josh are very similar... quieter people, more reserved, laidback, easygoing.. give great preference to small group settings, familiarity, etc.
Susan is a bit more outgoing but very much enjoys being around her "home area"...
Michelle spent two years in Italy as a missionary...
Josh spends several weeks or months each year in Cambodia as a missionary...
Susan left in August to go to Mali (West Africa) for two years as a missionary...
These are three of my oldest and dearest friends in the world and I have so much respect and admiration for them. So often I hear people say, and I have said, "wherever You lead me, Lord, I will follow"... and yet I know of so many, myself included at times, who, when push comes to shove, don't follow the Lord's leading. Of course I'm not talking specifically about going to another country and doing missions. I'm just speaking in general terms... God prompting us to talk to a friend about Him... Choosing whether to be honest about something and get in trouble or lie and stay "safe"... ending a relationship or friendship that you know isn't right and dealing with the pain and loss or staying together out of fear, loneliness, dependency on another person... or going overseas or into full-time ministry. I admire these friends for living out the faith they profess... for saying "yes" to God and following through with their actions. So often we say things to God that are simply empty words.. or promises that we hope we never have to follow through on but sound pretty at the time... HONESTY... with ourselves.. with our friends.. with our Lord. That's what we need.. Poor Rich Folk (awesome band.. thanks Warren!) wrote a song, 'Leaves Like Eve's".. the bridge states,
"I'm not broken and I'm not breaking
My eyes are open and I stand naked
I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not consumed,
I'm not all these things that I say to you...
'Cause I lie to you."
That's honesty.. brutal.. harsh.. difficult to say.. but honest. And it's how I've felt before... so often I find myself midstanza of a song in church and stop and say "What in the world am I even singing?! Do I really mean that?!"
May we, May I, stop lying to God. May we fall on our faces and be honest with our Father and our Creator and cry out truth from our hearts. May we not simply sing/speak/pray nice, pretty sounding words because we know that's what God wants to hear and because that's how we THINK we should feel. May our prayers always be honest.. may we always be honest with ourselves and with one another about our struggles, our sinfulness, our anguish, our "dark nights"... may we stop sugar-coating our faith and get real with God and one another. May we be as willing to follow up our words with our actions as my three, highly cherished friends have done.
I'm tired of being so shallow....
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